Lately I have been very busy. 2012 has started off with a continuance of the busy-ness of 2011. In December of 2011 I had a lot going on with my store, several custom orders came to me last minute at the end of the year so I put any healing work (not having any clients to attend to at the moment anyhow) I was doing in my center and for myself especially on serious hold. I've done so so much that I was starting to feel guilty about it. I started my healing center to reach out after all and I haven't been doing that at all.
Then again, it's not out of laziness, or even poor planning (most of the time) it's really that I have so much to do. Also let's also mention that in June 2011 my son was born and my schedule (the one I had set) just frankly went to hell - as anyone who has ever had a newborn can attest, babies tend to do that.
It's been on my mind so much that I was about to write a blog post about it trying to explain or even apologize for my absence. However, I read this this evening and changed my mind...
I Fill Myself Up First: A Declaration by Lissa Rankin
I found myself doing a lot of nodding and even feeling a tinge of guilt. Did I qualify as one of those people she mentioned? I surely hoped not. But regardless of that it got me thinking. I know I have felt the same at times, that I have secretly desired to say no to someone's wants and needs because they weren't my own and because they interfered with the many other things I was doing or things I wanted to do. I am sure that I might have "needed too much" for someone else's tastes because they similarly had other things to do. (I know I've felt guilty a time or two for taking up someone else's time too.) As I read I felt the urge to comment, to praise Lissa for steps forward for herself, to comment on things I've thought and share my own wisdom from my own experiences. Then I got to the end, noticed she said that there would be no place to comment and stopped. Maybe I should write her a letter, saying thank you, praising her work...I considered it and decided again not to and instead put some of my thoughts here on my blog.
What Lissa talks about, healing yourself and doing that personal work before you work for others and instead of going to others all the time, is very important for healers and lay persons alike. For many it's just easier to go to someone else who has done it before. To take them on as a mentor (whether they know about it or not) and to want to follow in their footsteps. After all why not follow a successful path that's been tread? But along with the danger that you will be leeching off of someone else, you don't really learn to do the work for yourself. Everyone's path is their own and we must each walk it by ourselves. This doesn't mean that you can't look to others for inspiration or even try things that have worked for them. But know your own road and cherish your path for what it is - your unique experience with trials and tribulations and just as many joys and gifts.
So what have you done for yourself? Do you need to take time off, say no to others, yes to yourself? Have you perhaps asked too much of someone else before? Have you had help declined you before and not known why?
Food for thought...