I recently (and only briefly) attended a meeting about a book (Practical Reiki) concerning Reiki written by a friend and mentor of mine Alice Langholt. In the small portion of the event I was able to attend I can clearly recall her speaking on the importance of intention in using Reiki (and really any other healing for that matter). I start this post off with this note because it sticks in the forefront of my mind as I'm thinking about what I have to say at the moment and how ironic it seems upon reflection...
When I started the healing center and everything associated with it (my practice, it's website, store, blog, and various social networking avenues) I had every intention on devoting some large amount of time and energy to it. However, if you were to ask me what precisely this amount of time and energy was I doubt I could have given a set figure or full description. Now it's two years later and looking back I don't feel that I could say I have lived up to what I was expecting of myself, but that doesn't mean I haven't done well. It also doesn't mean that I don't need to put forth more effort either.
With the birth of my son things have obviously been more than a little hectic. As any new parents out there may well know, being a new parent is a full time job in and of itself and while many juggle full time jobs along with a number of other things and raising their child I seem to be having a bit of a time with it. I could say this stems from having a hard time managing my time. This may come as a shock to those who know me personally or those who have worked with me as I am ridiculously conscientious about getting things done and industrious to a level of insanity it seems. On the other hand, it's not at all surprising given my personal knowledge about myself. I could say that perhaps I'm "in over my head" with my expectations. Afterall, I run two businesses, both of which have websites, blogs, stores, and various social networking presences including Facebook, Myspace (although who uses that anymore!), Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Again this isn't surprising to those who know me well since I always seem to have "too much" on my plate and many don't understand how I can expect to get so much done...You could also say that it just has to do with the chaos of dealing with a new life in the world. One who literally knows nothing and must start from scratch with careful and patient guidance. But there are plenty of people who manage it so why not me?
To be honest I think it's a combination of these things and other factors, some of which I may not really even be in the know about. In the time since I have ventured out on my journey as a healer from deciding to become one many a year ago, to the advent of my Reiki training, and then the addition and study of various other healing related disciplines many things have changed in my personal life that in turn have and are affecting my professional life. I have moved a number of times, moved on from many relationships both romantic and platonic, had some hard times as well as great ones, and find myself rediscovering myself and re-evaluating where I want to be and what I want to do.
Most notably is the venturing out into a program (the "Get Out of Your Way E-Course") created by Lissa Rankin that while somewhat focused on "fixing" your business or professional life in reality it is a true wholistic "re-vamp". What I mean by this is that it can be applied to any and all areas of your life. I'm about half way through the program and then came my son and since then I've taken a bit of a hiatus (somewhat against my will) and I find myself reflecting on the irony of stepping back from something I was "so sure" that I'd be through in a minimal amount of time. I also find it funny that the area of the program I stopped at is right around the part speaking about caring for yourself (specifically your health). I am looking and reflecting a lot on what I want for my own life, as well as observing quietly my health, that of my other half, noting it for some around me and realizing how much more I have stepped back than I realized. What I meant to be a brief hiatus from my breakneck pace has turned into a way of life with several "speedbumps" serving to keep me slowed down (including some ill health, and just being so very tired, as well as being the primary caregiver to my son without having a real break - eg no time to do anything else!)
What all this says to me is that I'm human. The importance of this message is not to be missed out on however since many people who come to health professionals may see them as "above" needing care. Mistakenly thinking that because they practice they have it all figured out for themselves. I can promise you this isn't the case. Health and healing is a full time, life time job and every day we make choices that require us to re-evaluate our health and lifestyle decisions (even though many of us do not evaluate ourselves that much). But this is okay. Really, it is - because being a good healer isn't about being perfect and having all the answers. In fact you could say a big part of it is knowing when you don't have the answer and having the courage to admit it and the will to figure it out (or at least try). The pathway to healing the self is not a straight line but rather a meandering way and it's a bit like a shifting labyrinth for every choice we make affects the end point so it's not even possible to fully map it out - there are so many unknowns. Still, that too is okay. So if you're a healer and finding yourself struggling, breathe, relax, and be gentle with yourself. It really is okay to find yourself in a rut or a lurch sometimes. That's just the Universe's way of telling you to try a different approach. If you are a layperson know that your healer(s) are people too, just like you, with good days and bad days.
Thanks for tuning in!