Monday, February 14, 2011

When to Say "No"...

We all know them, they are dear friends, family, co-workers, and sometimes even ourselves. They are not necessarily any type or sort of person in general, and they may be old or young, male or female. These people always have "something" going on in their lives. And not just something, but something awful, negative. Something bad has befallen them at all times. These people are draining to be around to all around them.

The problem is that despite this fact they are generally not bad people. They may even wish to have a better life, but they repeatedly pull themselves back into the mire and do the same to others. They actively choose to only see the negative in their lives. When you speak to them and interact with them, despite all your efforts to be positive with them they continue to hold on only to the negative.

A simple fact of life is that we all choose what befalls us. Many people do not like to think about this or believe it. They feel that the negative of their lives are merely misfortunes and they may have no part in the direction their life takes. This is far from the truth, for even if we are not aware of the choices that we are making we are making them nonetheless. Regardless of our awareness we make choices subconsciously everyday. Even more than this we have made one ultimate and all important choice, and that is our life lesson before we come to the plane and inhabit this body. It colors our lives from start to finish for our entire life has strands within it at all times. But regardless of whether you hold this truth as your own truth, the basis of it is always there. That of choice.

We choose to see the events and circumstances in our lives in a certain light. We choose to label things as "good" or "bad". Instead of seeking the positive actively, consciously as well as unconsciously, we focus on our inability to control all aspects of our world around us. Choice is always in our power however. And when we relinquish that power we fall victim to the choices of all others around us. So take back your power today by choosing to see what is good and worthwhile in your life - be they people, circumstances, tangible or intangible. Actively put your intentions out there of what you want and move towards it purposefully with every step.

For those in your life who prefer to stay victims have caution around them and know when to say "No." Know that in saying "no" you are not being mean or a bad person, but you are doing what is right for yourself. Understand that in allowing yourself to feel responsible for this other person you enable them to continue along the path they are choosing. While walking away from them and telling "no" may not be easy, it is the only way for you to really help them.

If you are a healer, in any respect of the word (energy worker, counselor, clergy, etc), you likely attract these kinds of people. They say they want your help, they come to you forlorn and downtrodden but they never really take responsibility for their lives. You will see them time and time again and if they are not suffering the same problems, they are suffering something else. It is a neverending cycle that they perpetuate actively (consciously or unconsciously). At the point that these people return to you and you feel them draining you (whether you are a healer or not) they are active as energy vampires.

To combat their influence over you you need to examine your association with them. You may need to simply cut ties with them, if they are not someone you are close to or deal with on a regular basis. This will likely need to be done both physically as well as mentally. It will not necessarily be an easy task, but it will be a necessary one. If you know this person personally and on an intimate level there will be that much more to work through to separate yourself from them. You will need to cut your ties, but you will need to strengthen yourself again further involvement with them. If you know and care about this person you may feel as though you are abandoning them, but again all of your involvement in their life serves as reinforcement to them that what they are doing, how they are living is okay. You will need to shield yourself from further influence from them, and may need to perform the "cutting" of your ties several times over to establish this.

Dealing with energy vampires and other emotionally or mentally draining people:
  • Establish good shielding techniques to prevent ties from being formed.
  • Learn to say "no".
  • Cut ties with those who are draining you. Repeat as necessary.
There is no set way to to shield or cut ties with others. You should follow your intuition in what suits you best. Some people are visual and can successfully visualize things. Others need a more physical impetus, such as a set ritual with gestures and motions to go through. Try suggestions of others over a period of time to see what works best for you, but do not be afraid to alter things to work better for yourself.

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