Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Perfect by Comparison

If you're like me and so many others you know all too true that old habits really do die hard. As a woman in our society it becomes especially difficult to get over one trait in particular - comparison. But this trait isn't by any means unique to women only. People in general tend to compare, if not themselves, then what they have to that of others. For Christians out there there is the commandment to "not covet". But knowing you ought not do something and actually stopping yourself from doing it are not the same thing.

Take into consideration for a moment that all around us are examples of what society tells us we should be and have. Why aren't you happy? There is no surprise if you find yourself struggling with it if you take into consideration that we are literally inundated with reminders of what we don't have. How often have you seen a commercial or other advertisement that ever exalts the appreciation of what you do have? With the exception of charities and funds that tell you you have more than enough compared to some, now hand some of it over. (Yes that does sound a bit harsh, but that's essentially what is being said.) All commercials do is tell you what you don't have, what you should have, and list reasons (which may or may not be valid) of why you can't be happy, whole, or complete without what it is they are selling.

First off, know that this is normal and that it's okay. Congratulate yourself on seeing the behavior and habits for what they are and release them. Now with any addiction, behavior, or otherwise repetitive action you can't just stop it and expect it to never rear it's ugly head again. So part of many therapies that are affective is the replacement of the negative action with a positive and/or differing action. For your own good though, you want to make sure that the action or behavior you are replacing it with is actually a positive one rather than just another habit you'll have to kick later! Gratitude is a great place to start! Instead of thinking and dwelling on what you don't have turn your attention to what you do have. What are you grateful for? What positives do you have in your life right now? Focus intently on these things and how they make you feel. Do not entertain any thoughts of, "well I would be happier if I had this". If you don't like something in your life get rid of it. Give it to charity or throw it away - this applies to intangible things as well - such as negative or limiting beliefs.

In the case of the intangibles you can use a simple grounding exercise to let go of these things anytime they try to crop up. Envision yourself from the perspective of someone outside looking in. With your visualized self's eyes closed see the negative thoughts and energy that surround and permeate your aura as a kind of dark cloud. Then watch as they drain away, like water down a sink, into the earth. Know that this action is effortless and there is not strain or drain on your energy when you do this. Then see lighter, brilliant white (or any color that is suitable to you) light rise up from the earth, through your feet, energizing you. See your visualized self smile as you feel energized yourself. Take a few deep, even breaths and bring your awareness back into your body.

Repeat this grounding exercise, or any other that suits you, when you feel depleted, angry, sad, or want to let go of something negative.

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